Tuesday 23 September 2014

Black Coal, Thin Ice


SPOILER ALERT!!! The coal gets very little screen time.

Black Coal, Thin Ice is an interesting film. If you blink or look away for one second you may miss very important information, like I did. The films plot is a murder mystery with a time scale of over a decade but to be honest the beginning is more like a flash back that wasn’t really needed. The clues that the detectives go on are so small it is amazing they hadn’t figured it out before the crimes were committed. What saves this film is it’s beauty, the province of China this film is set in is a dirty neon landscape covered in lifeless miserable snow, with bold cuts between night and day this film really is a treat to watch. The intermittent bursts of comedy are either a pleasant break in the mystery or an odd addition to the plot, case in point for the latter being the unnecessary dance scene towards the end. It is hard for me to say whether I enjoyed this film or not, right now I think I did.

The Dead Lands


I will fill your daughters uterus' with dirt and that will be your legacy. 
I heard that at 11 o'clock this morning, the South Bank is getting rough.

The Dead Lands tells the story of a pre colonial Maori tribe being wiped out and the chiefs boy seeking revenge. When I first read the blurb about this film I did think we were just going to be given another Apocalypto, I was wrong. What we get is a very basic story about honour and respect for your family and that good deeds can exonerate you from previous nastiness. The film unfortunately got a little lost in what it wanted to be, the fast cuts and slightly techno soundtrack made the audience think we were watching an action film, but the slow conversations about being honourable pushed us towards a drama. The acting and direction were very good though, also I believe it was an honourable representation of the Maori’s history. In the end, you have a positive start and finish that looks stunning.

BFI London Film Festival



As I have said many time, I am reviewing some of the films for the the BFI London Film Festival and this week is the start of the press screenings so I will do my best to keep updating this page with all the films I see.

Monday 8 September 2014

The Grand Master



The Grand Master is the story of Ip Man. Ip Man is the man responsible for training Bruce Lee in the art of Wing Chun. A great story I hear you say, you are right and that story was successfully produced into a film, that film is The Gra…’Ip Man' the 2008 film.


   For those who haven’t seen it, go out and find a copy now. It is really good. the sequel wasn’t too hot but still fun. I believe there is a TV show of him as well. So why after so much coverage has visually stunning film maker Wong Kar Wai decided to make this film?
   As I have said Wong Kar Wai is known for making his movies look amazing and this is spot on. Every shot is a picture and some scenes could be straight out of Koyaanisqatsi, some amazing slow motion rain in the opening sequence should be enough to let you know you about to watch something special.

   Now Ip Man himself seems a little ‘come and ‘ave a go mate!’. Which is odd because you would think he would be a little more self restrained. The film starts telling you the story of Ip Man but by the end we are following a woman that he loves (not his wife, but whatever I wouldn’t say anything to him). We have a kung fu movie, a love story and a biography which is a little confusing at some points. It feels like the original cut had a lot more involved but someone came in and made a Hollywood movie out of the footage they had shot. There are parts which seem to be from a different movie and when we come back to Ip Man we have missed some important information.


   Over all a very nice looking film with a slightly matrix soundtrack. It feel like it is trying to get everyone back into ‘Hero’ and ‘Crouching Tiger’. If you have seen and liked the Ip Man movies then stick with them if you like Wong Kar Wai films then go for it, if you like a biographical love story with very technical arse kicking that is over 2 hours long, well looks like it is your lucky day.

Saturday 23 August 2014

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For.


It has been 9 years since we last got to roam the streets of Sin City and to be honest, I was afraid to go back.

 Sin City: A Dame to Kill for, or Sin City 2 for the non interested is a sequel and prequel, giving the viewer little chance to figure out which is which before the blood starts flying. I was reluctant to watch this film as I recently had to watch the first and analyse it for it’s ontological realism, with the first being the first film to be entirely shot on green screen this film did not exactly offer up anything as technically ‘brilliant’ as the before. With the likes of The Spirit hammering home the style and then the Noir style, splash of colour being used in low budget indie flicks trying to capture the ‘magic’ of Sin City, I was indeed very bored of the style after the first 30 minutes. Luckily the story was so jumpy, that I never had the time to grow tired of the corny dialogue. 

Having been 9 years since the original Sin City, some actors were either not asked/ interested to return or dead so recasting led to even more uncertainty as to who was who. Josh Brolin’s character playing a pre face job Clive Owen led to some dodgy prosthetics towards the end and a younger actress playing an older Brittany Murphy made for a confusing watch. I think the film will rely heavily on Eva Greens tits and the blood and guts to sell this flick as the story is dull and weak. I would not watch it again But as I always say, Go watch it and enjoy it. Remember I don't like The Dark Knight.

Friday 2 May 2014

Film Review: Next Goal Wins

What the Audience was Invited to See.: Next Goal Wins: Even if you aren't a football fan, watch this documentary The underdog story of the worst team in FIFA history.

Next Goal Wins



Even if you aren't a football fan, watch this documentary

The underdog story of the worst team in FIFA history, they spectacularly lost 31-0 to Australia 10 years ago and in that time they haven't won a game or scored a single goal.

The turning point for the team in the two new players and the dutch coach. I am not going to talk about what happens in the film, I don't want to ruin it for anyone. It is such an amazing story that everyone should watch it, I wanted to clap, cry and cheer throughout the film but I would have looked like a knob as everyone else were keeping their cool.

9/10 easily the best documentary I have seen since Dear Zachary.

Blue Ruin



An absolutely amazing thriller, he should have kept the beard all the way through.

This thriller set on the east coast of America is easily the best revenge film since Shane Meadow's Dead Mans Shoes. At points the film is very tense especially during the home invasion scene, I had to keep reminding myself that is wasn't a horror and things aren't going to jump out at me!

The lead actor Macon Blair, is a genuinely terrifying in his role of 'Man seeking revenge', he is believable and compassionate. He is the man seeking the revenge but at some points the audience want more blood so to speak. That is not to say the film isn't violent or graphic at many points in the film we (the audience) were cringing with disgust or wincing in hope that it would all be over soon.

The film is a solid example of how thrillers should be made and that great stories are still out there to be made.

I would rate this film a solid 8/10. SEE IT!

Thursday 6 March 2014


Should have called it Faggot Blood.

We did an audio review instead. Enjoy!?


Wednesday 5 March 2014

My Left Foot



An amazing film, I am so glad I LEFT it this long to watch it.


As is now expected Daniel Day Lewis is spectacular in this film, but as it is expected we should talk about the everything else.

To start, the little boy (Hugh O'Conor) that plays Christy Brown at the beginning is brilliant, I think it is hard to find child actors that can complete a role without people thinking, 'oh he was good, bless him'. The rest of the family are a strong and Brenda Fricker plays the mother with such love.
   The film has a couple of interesting shots namely the restaurant scene when Christy Brown (Day-Lewis) is wishing congratulations to the table, it was a nice touch to see the reactions.
    Anyway this film is excellent and it deserves all the Oscars it got (2). It is truly a great film, worth watching. 

Monday 20 January 2014

Her






" I find it hard to find time between my video games and internet porn", Ha samesies...... no not really video games are for losers.

Without ever stating when this film is set it produces a realistic version of the future, things still have buttons and earphones haven't been implanted into the skull.

Joaquin Pheonix plays the lead role Theodore Twombly in what I would say is his most sincere role yet. He comes off as a genuinely lonely man and it is strange how someone can convincingly play a man that USED to be social.

The story itself is actually a very basic love story just set in the future, and it has all the same peaks and troughs of all love stories yet this one doesn't have that dull undercurrent, I would say it has a lot of staring in silence and if you aren't 100% into it you could drift off.

Joaquin sets the tone for the whole film with the opening when you see what he does for a living. He writes 'hand written' letters to loved ones that for other people, pointing out that he himself is in the business of false affection and that love and emotion can be made up.

Otherwise the film is actually very good, It is shot very nicely, with only one scene which breaks the 180 degree that causes a moment of discombobulation.

A solid 8/10